My Everything
by Jean-chan
Summary: QuistisxSeifer fic in which you peeps need no introduction to. *Chapter 2 uploaded*
1. Prologue

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters, blah blah blah... I dreamt that I did though... ;)  
  
  
~*~*~*~ My Everything ~*~*~*~  
  
  
What am I doing? Or should I say, what have I done? Oh yeah, I remember now. I had given my useless brain for the sorceress who threatened to take over the whole world, risked the lives of everyone in what was once my home, burdened my two best friends and then almost put an end to my ex-girlfriend's life. Life's just great isn't it? You do all the bad things and still have people who are willing to be by your side. The truth is, I know I deserve less. So much so that I think I would've been living in this world in solitude after all that has happened. So this is what it feels like to have the whole world turned against you...  
  
Not that I haven't been trying to mend my ways. I've persuaded Raij and Fuuj to return to Garden and get a decent SeeD rank, and to lead of life of dignity and pride. I certainly don't have no nothing to offer them. I mean, come on, with a reputation like this, I'll never get a job outside and make a living on my own. I really dunno how to take it from here. I know that if I wanna save my butt, my only option is to return to where I told my two friends to go. Back to the Garden. It's definitely not a good choice, but it's the only one, which makes it the worst and the best all at once. It's worth a try anyway, although I can picture Squall charging at me like a furious buffalo. I cringe at the thought but pushed it away as quickly as it had come. Can't afford to pity myself right now, not when I yearn so much to be forgiven again.  
  
Seeing that I have no time to waste, I grabbed my Hyperion and hopped off the docks, making my way out of town. I could hear Raij and Fuuj drop their poles and catching up behind me, and feeling surprised they didn't question me about my sudden departure. I guess they know me too well. I tried to make myself as unnoticeable as possible - something which I've never done. I've always craved for attention, and I guess that's what drove me to commit those atrocious acts. But I've gotta put the past behind me now, and turn over a new leaf. Seriously, I feel like a convict who just got released from prison, only that my heart is filled with guilt and practically nothing else. All I wanna do right now is to see my friends at Garden smiling back at me, telling me that they understand how badly I want to get back there. My friends. I suppose they don't feel the same way, not after what I've done to them. How can Zell ever forgive me for my incessant tauntings? And Squall... what I had done to him at the D-District prison. My thoughts then drift to Quistis... I was the very reason she lost what was most dear to her - her instructor's license. Of all the people that I have let down, it hurt me most that one of them had to be her. I knew that when she wished me luck before we headed for my previous exam, that she actually cared. But my ego got the best of me, and I ended up screwing up everything. I guess she was really disappointed, considering that was the umpteenth time I was retaking the exam. After we got back, I really couldn't face her, and so I left in a hurry, brooding over the incident outside the library. I can't believe I had the nerve to put her on "The List". It was the last thing I wanted to do.  
  
As we left town, the Garden was within our line of vision. Still as beautiful as always, I told myself. Wonder how she's doing now. Has she got her license reissued after her heroic contributions to bring me down? Does she have a...... boyfriend? Yeah, why not, I mentally slapped myself. She definitely got the looks and brains to have a whole string of admires behind her trail. I really anticipate seeing her again, but as I had mentioned earlier, I have nothing to offer. Not to my best friends, not to Garden, not to her. My heart, maybe. All of it, might I add, but problem is, I don't think she wants it even if I wished with all my might that she will. Whatever it is, I've lost it to her anyway.  
  
After fighting some irritating Bite Bugs which got in our way, we finally reached the entrance. Gone are the front gates and beautiful garden, since the Garden is mobile now, so we were greeted with the automatic doors. After entering in a single file, my chest heaved a big sigh. This is it, the hardest thing I've ever done yet, and I know that some other challenges are also ahead of me...  



	2. Facing the Music

Author's crap: Thanks for all the reviews, considering this is my first fic, it's made me   
quite delightful. Here's the second chapter for you peeps out there! =þ  
  
  
Chapter II - Facing the Music  
  
  
Ahh.. the things I would do if I could turn back time. Sure, everyone has regrets,   
but few with regrets like mine. I guess you know what I mean. I still refuse to believe I   
got so many people involved in the shit I wasted everyone's time on, when it all could've   
been avoided if not for me and my silly "romantic dream". I crushed the dreams of others   
in order to fulfill mine, and I ended up with nothing.  
  
Once again, my home greets me. The hall's almost empty. I wonder where   
everyone was. We walk past the ballroom on the second floor and managed to steal a   
peek through the slightly ajar door. I recognized Selphie in her yellow dress, checking out   
different areas of the ballroom. Seems like she's organizing the decorations; apparently   
there'll be a party tonight. Must be celebrating the defeat of Ultimecia, I told myself. The   
thought triggered off a whole train of others as I heaved a sigh and hung my head low and   
we continued to stroll along the corridor to nowhere in particular.  
  
I lift my head and reeled back in surprise. She was right in front of me! Looking   
at me earnestly with those sapphire orbs which never fail to draw me in. I just stared   
dumbly at her like an idiot, gaping. I quickly turned my head back only to find that Raij   
and Fuuj had somehow managed to slip away while I was looking at the floor. Guess they   
knew she was approaching. I turned back to look at her and fumbled around desperately   
searching for something to say. Instead, all that came out was,  
  
"H-Hi."  
  
"Hi Seifer. What are you doing back here?"  
  
She asked it in a very subtle way. It led me to think that perhaps she was honestly   
curious, instead of showing signs that she doesn't welcome me. Can't tell her that I came   
back to see her, can I? No, of course not. I mean, even I haven't forgiven myself, so how   
can she?  
  
"I just came back to... to..... I was bored, actually." Hyne, how lame.  
  
She seemed skeptical, and I don't blame her. Trying to save me from   
embarrassment, she took it for an answer and decided not to probe any further. She gave   
a nod and walked past me, further and further away... No, can't let her go just like that.   
Come on moron, think!  
  
"Uh, Quistis?"  
  
She spun round, bewildered.  
  
"You having any classes now? Can we like, have a coffee or something?"  
  
Then she smiled at me. Ahhhhh, that beautiful smile she rarely lets out. She's   
always putting up a cold front, a serious exterior. But now I see her warm side shining   
through those pearly whites, and it feels damn good knowing I am capable of making her   
do that. She didn't have to say anything. I knew it was a yes from the way she was   
smiling, and boi am I glad! This has got to be the best day of my life.  
  
We walked in silence to the cafeteria, where we found a seat in a corner not so   
noticeable. I wouldn't wanna be seen now, much less with Quistis, and my heart is still   
tingling with delight at the fact that she has accepted to spend her precious time with a   
loser like me. All of a sudden, I'm at a loss for words. All I really wanna do is to just sit   
there, and gaze at this angel before me, watching her every move and etching them   
deeply in my head for eternity. But I know what I must do. I must explain myself for my   
actions, and convince at least one person among "them" that I have realized my mistakes.   
Hopefully then I could clinch an opportunity to come back here and complete my   
examination, be a SeeD, work alongside with Quistis everyday...  
  
"So what have you been up to lately?"  
  
I snapped out of my daydreaming, letting her sudden inquire sink in. I guess I was   
too deep in thought.  
  
"Nothing much, really. Uh, just fishing all day long with Raij and Fuuj, trying to   
sneak around everywhere unnoticed..."  
  
She nod her head in understanding, and took a sip from her coffee. She seemed to   
be deep in thought, like she always looks, but I decided to wait for her to say something.   
Oh, the anticipation every time it's her turn to speak.   
  
"Have you ever given any thought about returning to Garden?"  
  
Oh, the dreaded question. Of course I have! Am I supposed to tell her that I   
came back for that very reason? The very faint glimmer of hope that I will indeed be   
accepted again? Maybe some people can come to terms with it, but not Squall, who   
unfortunately happens to be the Commander. The one person who decides whether I get   
to stay or not. I know that I am incapable of hiding anything from Quistis, so I decided to   
tell her the truth.  
  
"Actually, that's what I came back for."  
  
"Oh?"  
  
"Yeah.. part of it, yes."  
  
"So what's the other part?"  
  
Oh noooooo... don't make me say it.  
  
"Uh... hehheh, you'll find out soon enough."  
  
She gave me that skeptical look. Told you I can't hide anything from her.   
Anyways, she decided not to probe any further and resumed sipping from her styrofoam   
cup. However hard I try to deny that fact that I yearn to return to the Garden, deep in my   
heart, I know I have other reasons for wanting to come back.  
  
  
  
  



End file.
